Just Another Manic Monday…

Well hello fellow maintainers! It has been awhile since I last posted-sorry…

The reason I haven’t posted in a long time is mostly because of the craziness that summer brings! I’ve been very busy enjoying the wonderful things summer holds-weddings, hikes, gardening, sports, art shows, painting, -you name it, I’ve been doing it! And one thing that I most certainly have been doing is: eating. Cake, cupcakes, pasta, pizza, French fries, s’mores, cheeseburgers…basically, if it has carbs and fat in it, I probably ate it in the past couple of weeks.

Now, normally you’re probably thinking that I would normally make this blog about not being consumed by the bone crushing  guilt that can be felt from even licking an ice cream cone (add a bunch of ice cream cones to the above list too!). And you’re right. Normally I would be talking about trying to get over the guilt and trying to simply enjoy myself without being consumed (pun intended) by the guilt, but ALAS!-this is not the case!

My best friend got married this past weekend and I went into the weekend’s festivities weighing the least I have ever weighed before. I genuinely felt good, felt thin, and most importantly-felt healthy! I went into the weekend with a mind frame set that I was going to allow myself to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not a decision that can be made lightly (especially if you’re trying to lose the L-Bs). But I allowed myself to do this because I personally knew I felt good, and I knew I would get back on track the following Monday…and that is exactly what I did!

Allow me to be honest however, when Monday came around I was craving pizza, cookies, and cake more than a junky needs a fix... the Bangles say it best:

It's just another manic Monday,

I wish it was Sunday, 

'Cause that's my fun-day, 

My I-don't-have-to-run day, 

It's just another manic Monday...

Though part of me wishes I could keep eating like that, the power is within us to get back to our ‘normal eating.’ This whole week I have been right back to my health-nut ways without even looking back. I knew I would get back on track (or just simply back to my norm) and therefore I do not have not one ounce of guilt… did you hear me… do I need to say it louder, NOT ONE OUNCE OF GUILT!!! Crazy right?!?

With this being said however, there are weak moments when one should not indulge because they may not feel strong enough to get back on the healthy highway (again if you’re trying to lose, indulging like crazy may make more trouble than it’s worth). But, if you’re maintaining, feeling good, and looking good, there is no reason why you cannot enjoy some treats from the tree of life (wow-this is getting deep!)

Any who, at one point this weekend I actually thought to myself (warning: I may sound crazy-per usual I’m sure…), maybe I’m too comfortable at this size?!? I literally had a hard time comprehending how I was so OK with allowing myself to be entirely free with my eating, and honestly, it made me nervous that I may fall back into old habits (my gut is literally churning right now at the thought of falling back into old habits and being 'too free' with my eating)….BUT, I now know that falling back into bad habits will not be allowed. I have literally trained myself to just go back to eating healthy after I indulge for special occasions, holidays, etc.

This is life-we only get one chance at it and for that reason we must value every moment, and if that means you want to seal off an amazing ‘date day’ with your fiancé by having an ice cream cone-do it! As long as every day doesn’t become a ‘special moment/occasion’ you will be fine (when you’re celebrating the fact that you walked to get the mail by eating a slice of cake, it may be time to re-evaluate this concept)!

Maybe it’s this heat going to my head (if sweating was able to melt fat away, I would be nearly skin and bones at this point) but, life is too short to limit ourselves, our bodies, our hopes, and dreams. Enjoy the moments worth enjoying, and just live your normal healthy life for all the others.

How do you all make sure you get back on track after you choose to indulge? Have you ever experienced a moment when you realized-“Wow, I can do this ‘maintaining thing’... without the guilt!”? 

Until next time, keeping the bulge at bay!

Hop On... Hop Off...

One thing that is commonly found in everyone’s bathroom, whether they battle the bulge or are splendidly slender, is… a scale! (insert dramatic music here: DUN, DUN, DUN!) Yes, there are the select few individuals who say, “I don’t have a scale because I don’t need to be a slave to a number that could dictate the way I feel about myself; love yourself and create a loving environment...blah, blah, blah...” As tree-loving and granola as that sentiment is, the realistic scenario is that most Americans have a scale somewhere in their bathroom/house (even if it is a 1950’s banana yellow scale with a 10 lb margin of error stuffed in the back of your towel closet).

The thing about a scale is that it can be your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time. It has the power to make you feel like the skinniest girl next to Angelina Jolie (yes, right leg slit dress included), or it can make you feel as though you’re tapping on the door of needing the Biggest Loser trainers. Either way, during maintenance it is tough to know when to use the scale and when to ignore its tantalizing powers!

When I first began the real journey of weight loss, maintenance, I was on the scale as often as I was for weight loss (I hate to admit it, but sometimes it was probably close to every day/every other day). Though I didn’t worry too much about the times when the scale was reflecting numbers a bit more elevated than I may have preferred, I made sure to ‘check on’ my maintenance progress regularly.

After a while however, I found myself getting on the scale less and less. I didn’t need to ‘check on’ my weight as I became more in tune with my body. It’s kind of like being a weight loss psychic…I look into my magic crystal ball and feel like I’m going to weigh, say, 153…and-POOF-153 shows up on the scale! Admittedly there are times my crystal ball needs a little polishing because it is way off, but generally speaking, I’m a pretty good maintenance psychic. I have found that there really is no scale that is as accurate as being in tune with your body.

As I started to become more in tune with my body and my weight, maintenance became more ‘manageable’. This is also when one magical thing happened-my scale started to gather DUST! YES, dust I tell you! I was on the scale so little that it had time to gather dust between uses! Now, it’s at this point you’re probably thinking one of two things; either, A-this girl sounds crazy, or B-this girl is gross because she is PROUD of dust?!? Both of these sentiments are likely true, but allow me to elaborate on why I am so prideful of my grubby scale.

The dust that has gathered on my scale is indicative of many things in the dreaded maintenance stage. It shows that I am able to maintain my weight without leaning on the scale as a crutch. It shows that I know my body well enough that I know when I should be stricter with my eating, and when I can splurge and have Chinese food after a bad day (…insert my fridge with last night’s leftovers from $46.00 worth of Chinese food -I did make healthy Chinese food choices though…my fiancé’s tempting Chinese choices-that’s a topic for a whole other post). But most importantly, it shows that I have physical and mental control (at least for a short time) over my maintenance.

Though I am in tune with my body, there are those times when I use the scale for a bit of ….

This help comes in the form of two things, either a swift kick in the butt to say-OK Rachel, you’ve felt fluffy, flabby, and bulgy the past few days-use the number on the scale to get you back on track. Or, OK Rachel, you’ve felt like America’s Next Top Model, hop your slim little self onto that scale and see that itty-bitty number to keep you cruising on the healthy train [tickets for the healthy train can be purchased at your local grocery's produce section ;) ]

With this being said however, I try my freaken hardest to not to get on the scale if it is going to make me feel …

If I know getting on the scale is only going to make me feel worse-I avoid it at all costs! If you know the scale will make you feel like S#!* then you don’t need to get on it-you just need to get back on track! This is the key to maintenance. Allow the dust to gather on that beast for a bit and hop back on when you’re ready. You know your body better than a scale does…trust in yourself, not in a machine dictated by a spring controlled mechanism. (Check out the following link to see the silly little lever and spring inside a scale that we allow to control our lives...it's pretty eye opening A Scale's Innards)

So all in all, when you come over to my apartment and the rest of my bathroom is clean…please don’t mind the dust on my scale.

My Dusty Scale! (Can you feel my pride?!?)

What little things in life remind you that you can do this…with or without the scale? Mine is dust, what is yours?

Until next time…keeping the bulge at bay!

Fluffy Fears and Rusty Revelations...

Ignore the visual you all might be given in about two seconds….I was taking a shower the other day (I warned you...) and had a mini revelation -I am who I am. Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? But for anyone who has battled the bulge this is the most complicated, devilish statement that one attempts to absorb…EVER!

Allow me to explain further. I am who I am. Five little words that speak more volumes than the Library of Congress could even hold. We have strived to lose the weight, and are succeeding in maintaining that loss…but where do we draw the line? When is enough-enough? When is “only 5 lbs more” actually TOO much to lose? Where is the red light, the stop sign, the huge freaken brick wall that signifies the end of the weight loss road with a flashing orange sign saying ‘Maintenance This Way -->’?

As we all know, weight loss maintenance is 95% a mental game (maybe 94.6% but who needs exact stats anyways) and learning to cope with these issues is the main piece to the maintenance puzzle. However, beyond the games, it’s about accepting that enough is enough; I am who I am. I am healthy, and that is enough.

Yes, I am getting married in 141 days (but who’s counting) and I would like to be “5 lbs down” but, I am who I am. If I stay the weight I am right now forever, I will be happy. This weight is not a struggle, it’s not a fight, it is simply who I am. Maintaining weight is about being at a weight that is manageable. It’s about being at a place where you can balance a slice of cake with more veggies the next day. It’s about balancing your favorite physical activities one day with ‘vegging’ out on the couch another.

What maintaining weight is NOT about is counting every calorie going in your mouth and depriving yourself of the foods that you love. It’s NOT about crying because you can’t work out one day and consequently feel like you’re a healthy failure. And, it’s NOT about stepping on the scale every day to assess your weight loss successes and failures. We are healthy, we are who we are.

While taking that shower a few days ago (again, ignore the visual), I realized that if I can live life the way I do right now and can be the weight I am right now forever-I will be happy with that! As I washed my hair, I envisioned myself 20 years from now, the same size I am today-and I am more than happy with that. Yes, I waiver in this feeling and certainly fear that the fluff will come back; but a half-assed rusty revelation of future success and accepting myself just the way I am now is better than no revelation at all. I am who I am!

We are happy, we are healthy, and we all have flaws; but we are who we are-be happy, accepting, and content with just that! 

When was your ‘I am who I am’ revelation? Hopefully not everyone’s was in the shower like mine was-this isn't that kind of blog ;) haha

Until next time, keeping the bulge at bay!

The Post Fluff-Flab...

There are many actions in life that have side effects which we have been warned like the plague about. Whether true or not, we have been told: don't swim until 30 minutes after eating to avoid a stomachache, don’t be naughty or Santa won’t bring you gifts, even, don’t drink too many margaritas or you’ll be praying to the porcelain gods rather than dancing the night away with your friends -not that I have experience with that one or anything…. ;)

Anyway, we either do or don’t do certain activities many times due to that activity’s side effects. With weight loss, people tend to believe that health, happiness, and strength are the only side effects to weight loss; but this is an epic LIE! Yes, these are fabulous side effects and are most certainly worth venturing down the journey of weight loss for, but there are also silent side effects to weight loss. These silent side effects come in the lovely form of loose skin (or just loose flub/fat remaining), stretch marks, and mental games that last forever! I have many times discussed the mental games that go along with weight issues, since frankly; they make up most of the problem that we find ourselves coping with. However, there are the physical reminders of loose skin/flub and residual stretch marks that stay with us forever as well…pleasant thought, no?

Now, I believe in 100% transparency in this blog! BUT, showing you my vaguely loose ‘flub’ and stretch marks from a stomach blown up with 110 more L-Bs then where I am today, is neither a sight I care to show, nor is it one you likely want to be blinded by haha. However, I’m one of the lucky ones. I lost my weight slowly, and consistently, so my body has adjusted quite well (...perfectly-hell no), but other people aren’t as lucky. Some suffer with drastic amounts of loose skin or parts of their body where the 'flub' just won't disappear.

With that being said, what inspired me to write about this topic was the picture below. I saw this picture a couple of weeks ago, and ever since then I have wanted to create this post. The picture below has been shared on Facebook by many women who have had children and are showing pride for their stretch marks from having been pregnant. It got me thinking about my own stretch marks—that don't exist from anything prideful like having a baby, but rather exist from the demise of being extraordinarily overweight…

I suppose if you look at the situation candidly, I earned my stripes too-with each pizza I consumed (yes, whole pizza-not just slices here people), each ice cream cone I licked, each hamburger I ate, and every mile I didn’t walk, every hike I didn’t take, and every river I didn’t kayak down. In reflecting on this, it can bring a thought of sadness that I allowed my body to get to that state. A state where my skin had to stretch beyond what it was humanly designed for just to be able to accommodate my extra weight.

I look at the above picture as a way for mothers to take ownership of the physical side effects that remain from a beautiful experience...

...and we weight loss conquerors should do the same!

As much as  I want tight arms, fit legs, and a stomach flat enough to bounce a quarter off of as if it were a soldier’s bunk, this may not realistically be in the cards for me (please excuse the toddler-like internal tantrum I’m having at this thought). Behind that loose skin and those tiger stripes used to be fat-and a lot of it. Today, I choose to take pride in my little bit of loose skin because that skin is no longer maxed out like a balloon about to burst from too much helium. Today, I choose to take pride in my tiger stripes! Though they’re certainly not pretty, they are battle wounds from a war that I have been winning for years now (can’t say I have won the war because the battle of the bulge never truly ends).

I am a Tiger (insert seductive, pouncing like-rawwwwwwr here) and though I am ultimately responsible for my stripes, I take ownership of them and am PROUD to take ownership of the healthy tigress I am today! I earned who I am today, and after all, you can't be a fierce tigress without stripes, right?!?

Love yourself, and surround yourself with people that love you exactly the way you are-tiger stripes and all!

What are other unknown side affects you have found to be difficult since losing weight? How do you choose to handle them?

Until next time, keeping the bulge at bay!

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...Who’s the Fattest of Them All?!?

Why the Queen in ‘Snow White’ never asked this question instead, I may never know, but it is a sentiment that anyone struggling with their weight has coped with. The mirror can either be your best friend or your starkest enemy (personally, my mirror was my BFF last Thursday, and has been a bit of a b%@!h to me this week). Now I know that many of you who have never struggled with your weight do not understand this concept, but the mirror mine-as-well be as dreaded as the (dun, dun, dun) SCALE!

Allow me to explain…while maintaining or losing weight, one is very in tune with their body. Almost every time I step on the scale I know exactly what it is going to say. If I’m feeling and looking a bit heavier-the number is up, and when I’m thinking I’m the skinniest girl next to Barbie [excuse the obvious exaggeration ;) ] -the number tends to be lower. The knowledge of my body accompanied with my fair weathered friend, the mirror, seems to always dictate what I am going to see on the scale. When you think about it, it really isn’t rocket science after all…

However, there is a much more complicated mirror that exists out there-other people! No, I am not referring to what other people think about your weight loss. Rather, if you have lost a good amount of weight it is hard to place your body in relation to friends, family, or hell, even public in general! You tend to always think that you are one of the ‘bigger and fluffier’ people in the room, but in actuality, you probably aren't  anymore…

I find this ‘mirror’ of trying to figure out how big you are in comparison to others very difficult. Now, once again, those of you who have never had to lose weight probably are thinking-why does it matter what your body is like in comparison to others, you should love who you are and how far you’ve come? In actuality this ‘hippie’, ‘granola’, and ‘zen’ like sappiness is true, but if you had a point in your life where you were always conscious of being one of the biggest (if not the biggest) person in the room…then you would understand the need to try to figure out what size your body is in comparison to others now that your extra LBS have been served their eviction notice!

Trying to find where you belong is a form of self-assurance and is a way to seek a bit of inner affirmation that your hard work really is paying off! People who were once heavy always have a feeling that we could lose ‘a few more lbs,’ but in reality (reality in weight loss…never heard of it haha) that may not be the case. Why is it that most people who have always been a size 8 are more content and comfortable with being a size 8 than someone who has fought to be a size 8? Shouldn't I as a fairly newcomer to a size 8 be able to comfortably enjoy it as much as the person with size 8 seniority? Finding this comfort is much easier said than done…I am still trying to find comfort in my size 8 jeans...and my size 8 life.

We always want to be able to say, “I’m finally as skinny as [insert name of your skinny, beautiful, popular friend here] is…”, but somehow, we are never actually able to admit that we ARE as skinny as she is when we get there! I may borrow a pair of jeans from my friend and have them fit perfectly but I will still think she is skinnier than me. It is the dreaded mirror of weight loss that does this to me! I try to battle this by reflecting on my accomplishments often, staying on track (makes you feel better about your body) and trying to think about my new size rationally among my friends (rationality-another thing that doesn't exist in weight loss haha). Some days this works, and some days it doesn't, but overall the goal is to find genuine comfort in my new size and my new 'place' among my loved ones... 

It is very clear that the real mirror we fight is our heads… With this said however, I vow that one day I will concur both the mirror on the wall and the one in my head; either that, or I’ll break that god damned mirror and have 7 years of back luck…who wants that?

How do you all cope with finding your place within the ‘mirror’ of friends/family who have always been smaller than you, but are now around the same size?

Until next time, keeping the bulge at bay!

PS-Here is a website where you enter your height, weight, pant/shirt size, and body type to see other people who meet the same profile…it is a great tool to mentally place your body in relation to others! http://www.mybodygallery.com/photos-8959-body-shape.htm

Maintenance: The One Celebration That Doesn’t Include A Meal Selection…

Today is a classic day where I’m hopping back onto the ‘Healthy Wagon’ after enjoying the ‘fruits’ of my sister’s wedding (I swear, I did eat some fruit), while not regretting one crumb or calorie I happily consumed. However, enjoying a wedding to the fullest is an example of where the mental game that exists with maintenance will likely rears its ugly head (and, for me, its head is in the shape of a large platter of cheese, crackers, and any kind of hors d'oeuvre followed by a good ole helping of guilt!).

Maintenance has a tendency to be a bit of a roller coaster for many people. For example, I went from weighing the least I have ever weighed, 149.8 lbs, (and buying the smallest sized dress I’ve ever bought) to eating to my heart’s content in just one week! The highs and lows from this can be tough to deal with, however, the key to maintenance is to always get back on track, no matter what!

If this means that you have to freeze all the left overs that your generous family sends home with you so that you will only have them accessible for when guests come over-then do it! (Insert my stuffed freezer full of leftover pastries from what seemed like a bakery shop's full week worth of sales just for my sister’s post wedding brunch). 

My Sister's Post-Wedding Brunch: Pastry Heaven!...(now deep in my freezer)

Do what you need to do to get back on track-freeze the food, throw it out, have your loved ones hide it from you, or even give it to your skinniest friends so that they can ‘fluffen’ up a bit haha-you must do what is right for you in order to get yourself back on track.

Depriving yourself during moments like a wedding where it (hopefully-haha) only happens once in your loved one’s life isn’t true maintenance (and I was so happy to see that a few of you commented on previous posts with this sentiment as well!).

You can’t get mad at yourself for allowing yourself to enjoy these moments! Yes, it may be frustrating that food is the centerpiece to every celebration that practically exists-but don’t allow it to surround the biggest celebration of all-your weight loss! Take moments to remember how far you’ve come and that a few meals, or even few days of just enjoying life and the treats that come along with it, (like the three day affair I just had with pastries, cheese, and buffets) won’t cause you to gain the weight back...

Here are two pictures that I took to show myself how far I’ve come-these serve as a reminder that a few unhealthy, or even ‘normal’ meals, will not send me back to that-I'm a new person now, and that old 260 LB-er is gone forever! This is the one constant celebration that doesn't come with a meal selection or congratulatory dessert!

The dress shown was my prom dress from senior year in high school in 2005. It was a size 22…the dress I bought for my sister's rehearsal dinner is a size 6! 

(Note, this dress is actually a wedding dress-they didn't have any prom dresses in my size so I actually had to buy a wedding dress...you never forget unsettling moments like these...)

As long as you don’t allow your few days of indulgence to turn into a few weeks-you will continue to maintain. Celebrate the accomplishments you have had in your weight loss-celebrating these will help you get back on track and will remind you that you are far from the person you used to be!

During maintenance you have to loosen up a bit, and enjoy a freaken slice of cake once in a while! One slice of cake won’t make you fluffy again, however, the entire cake in a whole other story...

What do you do to remind yourselves of how far you have come, and that you are allowed to enjoy treats sometimes?

Until next time, keeping the bulge at bay...

Weight Loss Throughout The Years...

I decided recently that if I am sharing this journey of weight loss with everyone, then I need to be entirely transparent and show what the evolution of weight loss (and maintaining) actually looks like. I have always despised showing these pictures to anyone (including myself), but I feel as though it is important for everyone to see them so that they can fully comprehend what a life changing transformation weight loss can be.

When someone is maintaining or trying to loose weight, people can see every set back, every 'Yo-Yo', and every diet hiccup they may have in their photos (and Facebook makes this even more evident these days)! Someone who loses weight remembers exactly how much they weighed, and how they truly felt about their body, health, and life when they look at themselves in each, and every, picture...

Senior Year of High School and Senior Year of College

Early in High School & The Day I Received My Master's Degree

Red and Black Outfits...One From Then and Two From Now

Weight loss can change not only how you physically look but can (and usually does) change who you are through and through! In the slideshow below, you will see the evolution of weight loss in picture form rather than merely just the timeline I stated in my first post. I believe an important factor of maintaining is occasionally reflecting on where you came from and how your weight loss has potentially changed every aspect of your life. I like to keep a few 'fluffy' pictures of myself handy so I can always keep myself inspired on the journey that I have forged down...one of health, happiness, and (most of the time) positivity. Seeing how much I have accomplished helps me to maintain my loss...

Until next time, keeping the bulge at bay! :)

Falling Off the 'Healthy' Wagon…

Well, as any fellow maintainer can attest to, I fell off the ‘healthy’ wagon this past weekend. I found myself doing really well during the day light hours and then gorging myself at night (and let me tell you, the leftover Valentine’s Days Reese’s and pretzels were to die for)! I tried to justify that it’s OK to have a bit of a treat because of the 80/20 theory to maintaining weight; however lying in bed stuffing pretzels and Reese’s into my mouth while watching the movie ‘Signs’ probably doesn't exactly fit the theory per se (maybe I can use the excuse of emotional eating because I was watching a scary movie?!? …scary movie+nervous emotions=eating more?!? If excuses could burn calories, I sometimes think I would be fit enough to be in the Olympics!)

For those of you who don't know, the theory of '80/20' is that 80% of the time you are good-meaning you eat healthy, and 20% of the time you are allowed to have a bit of a splurge-nothing TOO crazy though! I try to really stick to this concept in general because I have found that depriving yourself of those few treats can actually make you gorge on those treats at another point (insert the massacre of Reese’s with their fallen solider Reese wrappers all over the bedroom). In a previous blog, I mentioned that splurging can be a slippery slope because having one chip can lead to suddenly being at the bottom of the bag and not remembering how you got there! Adversely however, if you deprive-deprive-deprive yourself and then suddenly allow yourself one bite-you may not be able to STOP! I usually allow myself to have small bites of the foods I really want, and those small bites here and there tend to keep the pounds and ‘gorging demons’ at bay! This works because the small bites here and there keep me from feeling entirely deprived of those foods. This is MY version of the 80/20; everyone must find a system that works for them!

However, this weekend was probably more like 60/40 for me, and though I was disappointed in myself I have to remember to climb back on that god damn healthy wagon; and yes, sometimes the ladder to climb back on seems longer and more painful than it does at other times! Don’t let the fact that your health food wagon lost one of its wheels and axles (right after going through the drive through of McDonald’s) stop you from fixing it and moving onward and upward.

After eating poorly, people who are trying desperately to maintain have the tendency to feel as though “S#!+, that’s it, I’m going to be large and in charge again!” But that ISN’T the case (I constantly have to remind myself of this)! After eating poorly this weekend I was lying in bed half asleep and I remember rolling over and having my arm brush against my stomach. I actually thought to myself, ‘wow, it’s not already fat again!’

One or two slip ups aren’t going to pack the pounds back on as long as you get back to being ‘good.’ When I was going to weight watchers meetings I heard a lifetime member who had been maintaining for years say, “If you gain 5 pounds get back on track, if you gain 10 go back to a meeting.” I wholeheartedly believe that only you are responsible for your own health, and if you live by this rule, you CAN and WILL succeed in maintaining!

Trying to maintain weight loss isn’t about being perfect 100% of the time. Instead, it’s about finding a healthy balance in eating; which is why 80/20 tends to work beautifully for some former ‘fluffy’ people, like myself, that are trying to keep the bulge at bay (however, the creamy salad dressing, tons of honey glazed bread, and huge bowl of pasta I had on Friday night probably isn't the best way to exemplify this theory...or to start off my weekend)…. 

Until next time, back on the healthy wagon and continuing to try to keep the bulge at bay...

DO Make a Mountain out of a Mole Hill!

For those of you who have shrunken your muffin tops to the size of a ‘mini-muffin’ as if it were a scene out of ‘Honey I Shrunk the Kids’, it is very likely you have noticed changes in your everyday life since losing the weight. Having your jeans feel looser, or friends/relatives noticing your weight loss is an obvious change and should give you a jolt of self-confidence (which usually lasts about 1 minute due to your skinnier, taller, and prettier friend having walked in the room)! However, these are merely the obvious changes that folks think about.

People who have never had to struggle with their weight don’t entirely understand that there are things that happen in people’s daily routines that ‘fluffy people’ (my favorite term for people fighting the battle of the bulge) can’t do or struggle with doing. Noticing and consciously recognizing these changes, as minute as they may be, is an integral part of embracing and celebrating maintenance.

For example, when I go to the doctor’s office these days I find my own small jolt of self-confidence in the visit. No, I am not referring to seeing the number on the scale being in a range I never thought it would be, and I also am not referring to my doctor saying that I am in a perfectly healthy BMI (body max index) range for my height.  These are definitely wonderful feats and trust me, I celebrate them often! However, I am referring to the self-confidence I attain from getting my blood pressure taken! Again, I am not referring to the medical results of the doctor squeezing my arm so tight that it feels as though it may just POP off my shoulder! Instead, I am speaking to the small victory that I no longer need the doctor to try to fit the “normal” person’s blood pressure cuff onto my arm out of politeness then say, “Oh, let me just try one a bit bigger…” A BIT BIGGER? Really? I wonder which chip gets bequeathed the honor of being the defining one to send me from a ‘normal’ cuff to the “bit bigger” cuff-the FLUFFY person’s cuff?!?

These small, every day, experiences stay with you long after the weight is gone-and then some…

Now, I go into the doctor’s office and sometimes the “normal” cuff is too BIG and I need the small one! In fact, it is the feeling of having the doctor put the normal cuff around my arm recently that made me decide I HAD to write this blog! Little incidents like these are a DAILY occurrence for someone who is trying to maintain their weight and these occurrences should be valued and celebrated. You SHOULD make a mountain out of these small mole hills! These mole hills should be given recognition in a new positive light because if they aren’t; the old memories will remain sedentary in the negative shadows in your mind.

Another example is that I used to own tons of earrings.  The reason I had an addiction to earrings is because they were, as I always joked, “one size fits all!” (which is a term that people who struggle with their weight know is the biggest lie since Bill Clinton said he ‘did not have relations with that woman’).  Now, when I borrow a friend’s bracelet or ring it is a mole hill that I consider a mountain! To go from being anxious to even try on a bracelet around my friends because I knew it wouldn’t fit-to trying any and all jewelry on is something I am proud to celebrate!

Weight loss and maintenance is not easy, and no one ever said it would be. Whether it is wearing jewelry, having a smaller blood pressure ‘cuff of death’ at the doctor’s, buying a size smaller shoe (yes, your feet lose weight too!), or simply being able to see your toes again while standing straight up-these are milestones that MUST be celebrated (and no, do NOT celebrate them by eating a piece of cake haha!). Every time I experience a little flash back to the chubby days and see how my life has changed today I just take a moment to bask in it. I think about where I’ve come from and how hard I worked for it; and I will be damned if I don’t take a second to reflect upon my accomplishments! But please note, I reflect these accomplishments many times internally-I’m not sure people would entirely comprehend my love/hate relationship with a blood pressure cuff while sitting in an emotionally sterile doctor’s office! ;)

Remember, celebrate we will-because life is short but sweet for certain…

Until next time, trying to keep the bulge at bay!